Author of 'Do I have to be good all the time?' wondering about life, love and awkward moments. A lot of of awkward moments, actually. And sometimes chocolate. You have been warned…

Monthly Archives: August 2016

If we didn’t see each other face to face at the Threads sexy talk event back in July (I wrote this about sexy times ahead of it), there are a couple of opportunities coming up. Next Monday I’ll be at the fantastic Greenbelt festival on a panel organised by dating aficionados Christian ConnectionGreenbelt-web-footerWe’ll be debating ‘Has online dating changed everything?’, kept in order by the lovely Kate Bottley, Googlebox vicar. There are hundreds of hours of brilliant programming at the festival covering arts, faith and justice, so if you’re coming along, try to say hello. Good chance to meet lots of interesting people too – and it’s supposed to be sunny. Perfect bank holiday outing. Especially if you’re a camper.

flanders RLLOn the subject of love and dating, a very big thank you if you’re one of the nearly 950 brilliant people who’ve completed the Real Life Love survey already. So grateful for all the thoughts, opinions, experiences, and ideas you’ve shared. If you haven’t yet, there’s still time. Spare an hour (or less) for an in-depth vent or happy reflection on all you know about how Christians talk about relationships between men and women, love, dating, marriage, family, and all that jazz. I’d love to get as wide a perspective as possible so if you haven’t already, are there people you’d be happy to share the link with? Of course there are. HERE IT IS!

prem  digi 16And, if you like planning ahead, we can also look into each other’s eyes (from something of a distance) at the Premier Digital conference in November. It’s a fun and interesting day, covering all things online, followed by an awards ceremony (there’s still a week to nominate people and things for great faith-based online engagement). I’m doing two premdac talksessions: chairing a debate called ‘They all hate me! How do you cope when the web turns against you?‘ and then an exciting seminar in the Thinkers stream (I know…) about art and death in the digital age. ‘Reaching Beyond: Bowie, Prince and the new eternity‘. This year has been a shocking one for much-loved artists departing without warning. I am intrigued by two in particular: the clever, carefully planned exit of David Bowie, and the unexpected, accidental death of Prince, and how these were captured, manipulated, and became global events because of digital technology. How does this interact with the Christian view on the eternal and life after death? You can see the full conference programme here.

Hope to see you somewhere along the way (and don’t forget the survey…)

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When I was at University a few years back now, studying history of art before it was the way to meet a future king, and grants were available for the non-monied, I was introduced to the concept of CRASH. Standing for Class, Race, Age, Sexuality, and Handicap, it was a basic tool for beginning to think about who had advantages over who and why and what impact this might have on life chances and the art a person might produce. As a young, straight, white woman it was likely I would have fewer obstacles than an older, wheelchair-using, black, lesbian, for example (cue political correctness gone mad tutting and all the eye rolling). All should have been well in my world – aside from minor issue of the list of risks women face for being women. I did have a black partner though. A privately educated young man from a respectable family, training to be a lawyer. Spoiler: that counted for little in many situations.

That one R variable made a ton of difference. Over a few years I lost count of the number of times he was stopped by the police for suspected involvement in a crime, even ones he’d been nowhere near. A citizens arrest, in one case, as he walked home at night from his shift at the call centre we both worked in during holidays. A pregnant woman had apparently been mugged and he was literally the nearest black man. The reason given by the white men who grabbed him was Continue reading